Signs by Defne Kartal

Signs

I don’t believe in signs but I do

I beg for them daily, and when they arrive -

A postcard, a dog, a friend, a group of musicians, a Canadian -

i don’t do what I think they’re telling me to

what are signs for?

I don’t believe and I don’t know, I don’t know, so I don’t believe

Instead, I conjure up an image of you

Walking away through the crowd,

I follow you

Eyes closed in my bed

I hold you

I look in people’s windows, says the poet

I always, always, always do

Lion-faced truth-speaker

Nothing to see, if I can’t find you

but can anyone prove to me please,

show the signs to me, please

That my world has known you,

And the world as I know it, still holds you

in a corner where I don’t see, there you must be

(Here’s a solace: Object permanence)

What did you have for dinner today and who did you talk to?

You must have gotten my letter

did it break or mend something

And do you - believe in signs, the way I do?

ask for them find them hate them love them

ask for them again,

again

do you?