This is How I Die by Kris Aziz | One Poem Only
One Poem Only is a daily ritual: one poem, center stage, just for now.
This is How I Die
Kris Aziz
This is how I die
Glass reflecting moonlight
on the pavement
Metal and gasoline mixing with
Blood in the air
A paramedic holding my hand
Except, wait-- rewind.
I chose to get Taco Bell
Before getting on the highway
After all.
I don't worry about the calories
Or how a dress will fit
After all, I have a coupon for
A free soft taco
That says "you deserve it".
I am not dead, I am eating a
Nacho fry Baja blast chalupa
In standstill traffic.
No, this is how I die:
An empty bottle with one undrunk
Drop of poison dripping
On the floor, mixing with the
Sweat on my blankets
Shivering through my last fever
With nobody to hold my hand
Except, wait-- rewind.
This time I chose to text my friend
To speak my pain into existence
And arm myself with her
words of love and worry.
She brings me a Chicken Enchilada Burrito
With extra Diablo sauce.
I am not dead,
I am sleeping soundly
Safe in my bed
With many dreams to come.
No, this is how I die:
In a hospice
Breathing life through
an oxygen mask
I am surrounded by
Those who love me
Enough to sneak in
A Mountain Dew Baja Blast.
I am telling my grandkids about
That one time in the Himalayas.
They don’t understand what I’m saying
Until I pronounce it
“Him-uh-LAY-uhs”.
Their overbearing Americanization
Is too much for my impatient heart
I love them dearly
And am only leaving for a short time.
This is how I lived:
Flirting with Death and cursing God
Held together by soft tacos
And nicotine
Testing the limits of existence
With recklessness and
Scraped together words
Embracing the joy
Enduring the hurt
Now this is how I live:
Pouring words on a page
Even though I am just a
Boy/Girl/Ghost/Person,
Not a poet
Showing my heart to strangers
Holding my own hand.
More from Kris Aziz ↓
- @tacobelltrauma on Instagram
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